a w a r e.

1.parked cars

you parked closest 
to the door,
not a care 
transporting yourself
easily inside,
probably not thinking twice 
that i would have to 
park on the street,
pulling a kid from the 
back seat,
as well as hauling a car seat, 
heavy with an infant.
sure, i will take the longer way 
to preserve your 
comfort. 


2.  hello? with whom am i speaking?

you called, 
and i brightened at the thought 
you might want to 
check in, 
find out how we're doing
[it has been ages since we last spoke]
it has been a stretching week, 
a long hard month, really,
so much has changed since the 
baby came-
i have so much i'd love to share 
if you are interested!
instead.
you rattled on 
the entire time, 
did not even ask about the baby
or ask to see him-
we listened as you talked of 
kitchen faucets,
complaining that the refrigerator company 
did not deliver your fridge 
when they said they would.
[what an outrage.]
it would have been nice if you 
might have asked, 
how are you feeling?
i am sorry your grandma died.
are you doing ok?
having 4 children now must be a 
big undertaking i would imagine, 
i am sure you are doing great!
but. 
we ended the conversation with 
you casually closing it down
[you had had enough chit chat]
slipping in like a dagger,
you couldn't have known 
this would hurt my heart deeply
well, we did talk to the other 
daughter
so we must keep it even 
so i thought i would speak to you, too.
we must keep it 
politically correct, you know..
is that the only reason you called?
to be politically correct?
not because you 
cared about me
personally
and wanted to check in with me?
i almost rather wished 
you hadn't even called at all.
sigh. 
but each phone call i am 
still hopeful.
perhaps the next time 
you will be 
a w a r e, 
maybe even ask a few questions, 
show a bit of interest in the lives of 
your sons and daughters, 
more importantly, 
your grand children.
until then,
i will listen of how the weather is 
there, 
and what you will do with that 
new back room full 
of junk.