Friday, February 17, 2017

decadent chocolate protein bites

it has been ages since i last posted a good ol' tasty recipe. i have been thinking about my eye surgery that i had this past September and what an incredibly bizarre, difficult, sweet, quiet, yet refining time that was. it was also a small season of incredible gifts, amidst pain, recovery, fear of losing my eye, i received such an abundance of care and love. many dropped off delicious meals. many help out with our 3 kids. my sweet pastor who i love and adore, took the time to visit me at my house. my friends would come and sit with me, reading scripture out loud and keeping me company. my brother and sister in law dropped everything in Tennessee, drove all the way up to Michigan and ran my household for me for a few days while my husband had to be away on business. yes, it was a hard time, but it was a rich time. i felt so undeserving of all this love and attention and care. i was stripped to nothing and the service spilled in with no questions asked. i could not be more humbled. 

my sister in law eve was so thoughtful and considerate, she asked me ahead of time if i had any food requests because she knows i love food and eating and snacking and thinking and dreaming about food and she just happens to be an amazing cook. the long weekend her and the family were here, she made three delicious meals, as well as, wait for it, some of my most highly requested treats that she makes, decadent chocolate protein bites. oh my word. these are the most amazing protein treats i have ever eaten. they don't even taste healthy, that's how good they are. they are savory, hearty, full of delightful texture and layers of flavor, and then to be either topped or dipped in ghiradelli dark chocolate? over the top incredible. 

my sister first made these for me years ago, back before neither of us had any kids and we would just hang out and eat fun food, the four of us. and since then, i always beg her to make them. she usually makes them as bars, pressed gently in a square pan, she cuts them carefully into squares, wraps them in wax paper, and you feel like you are eating a gourmet candy bar. 

this time, being as i was head down in a hole due to my crazy googley eye that required my head horizontal to earth, she made them bite style, and coated them in chocolate, so it would be easier for me to eat. no crumbly mess, no fumbling with wax paper, just two fingerprints of melted chocolate as i nibbled on these delicious delicacies. 

they are fairly simple to make, only requiring a pulse processor, which i don't have, so she brought her own-bless her, and a few random ingredients and you are good to go! 

if you can't see the snapshot too well, i'll list the ingredients here:

3 cups raw almonds
3/4 cup flaxseed meal
3/4 cup shredded coconut
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup coconut oil [just under]
6 drops of stevia-i have subbed honey before too
1 1/2 tbs agave nectar
1 1/2 tbs vanilla 
1/2 cup dark chocolate 

p.s. here's a nice gem of a picture of how i had to eat for two to three straight weeks with my head down at all times. not pretty, but it worked. i was eating a delicious tarragon pasta eve made for me as well..

one small kind 
word from
can make my 
your eyes turn to marbles 
as they roll into 
the back of 
your head. 
i hear your 
undisguised disgust
when you see 
one of my daughters
show even the smallest
of moodiness. 
you watch her 
burst into 
over the most 
insignificant things
and i watch your face sigh 
with a huge
you communicate to me 
[many times over]
'see, this is why 
i never had daughters.'
and i want to 
squeeze your shoulders
rather roughly and say into 
your smug face

do you not remember you were a 
daughter once 
the forgiveness came, 
soft and quiet 
slipping into the van 
into my heart 
into my fingers 
as i tapped tapped tapped
at the tiny keys 
in my phone.
a desperate prayer
whispered on my lips 
i choose to forgive her.
i choose to forgive her. 
and i will not look 

only Christ alive in me.
can the 
humble forgiveness 
make a home 
in me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

i will sit here
teeth chattering 
in the 
ice cold bath of
bitterness & hurt 
until it 
s o f t e n s & w a r m s
understanding &

i am tender with peace.
my fingers have turned to prunes.