Thursday, June 7, 2018

flavored water.

"they had strawberry lemon 
infused water!" 
you boasted with awe. 
i sat there quietly,
listening 
trying not to be hurt by this 
small thing.
i wanted you to remember 
that i, too 
carefully drop the choicest fruits 
into my water, 
our water, 
really any water given to our guests-
cheering up bland, 
colorless water 
with cheerful limes, 
lemons, 
cucumbers. and mint, 
sometimes 
strawberries, oranges, 
and even mango and berries..
i want you to say, 
"she makes the most beautiful water.."

what a dumb thing to care about, huh.

Monday, June 4, 2018

"for anyone straddling more than one culture, 
food often becomes an anchor with which we a
ccess and return to it. "

-brown girl magazine 

Peonies

'Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass,
with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half dressed and 
barefoot, 
into the garden, 
and softly, 
and exclaiming of their dearness, 
fill your arms with 
white and pink flowers, 
with their honeyed heaviness, 
their lush trembling, 
their eagerness to be wild and perfect
for a moment,
before they are nothing, 
forever?'

Peonies, by Mary Oliver

ben, age 8

he is a long stalk, 
a weed that stops at 
nothing in growing. 
his long legs drape over 
opposite sides of the 
bike he just learned to ride-
it took him just 3 days. 
he often slips away to 
his tiny cave room, 
being the 
introspective introvert, 
he pops in a white tape 
and presses the play button.
in a world that has been 
taken over by 
digital, 
i love it that my boy treasures his 
radio and still listens to 
cassettes.
his mind grows sharper by the second, 
he inhales information, 
knowledge and logic are his strength, 
but also his weakness. 
he wrestles with keeping it all 
in check,
things HAVE to make sense in his mind, 
but he's learning to be ok 
if sometimes they don't. 
he really is a tender, thoughtful 
young man, 
his two front teeth 
drop from the ceiling of 
his mouth like 
stalactites
[he will be proud of me for this reference]
his dark brown mop of hair 
begs to be cut. 
he is helpful,
taking delight in his baby brother,
the laughter i hear from the baby's cheeks 
when he is near big brother
gives me great joy.
i am watching my oldest son, 
my firstborn, 
my little cub, Benjamin 
transform in front of my very eyes.
i don't dare blink or 
he will be grown and gone 
and all i will have is memories.
i soak him in.
his crooked smile, 
the way his confidence soars when 
he explains something he knows, 
the way his eyes light up 
when i praise him 
for a job well done. 
i soak in the way he lets his sisters 
climb all over him and he never lays a hand 
on them. 
he is calm. 
he is sure. 
he will never stop being a learner, 
of this i am sure. 
i pray he grows more and more 
in the likeness of Christ each day 
and leaves the fleshly pride
behind. 
i love you, my son. 
i am so very proud of you.
getting to be your mom is one of 
my greatest gifts. 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

tighten your circle, 
she said 
as i stood there, 
my life unraveling, 
from too many yes's 
and not enough no's.
it's time to re establish 
that line in the sand, 
to know what stays in 
and what to keep out, 
she said gently. 
my line had gotten 
quite blurred, 
footsteps trampling 
across it going 
to and fro
some 
i don't even recognize 
but somehow they had
pressed their 
way in. 
what is important to you?
who is important to you?
she asked wisely. 
i will heed her wisdom, 
start over, 
and begin etching that line 
once again.