The common misconception (lie from Satan) is that you are the only one. You struggle with masturbation? Well, nothing surprises God. You struggle with pornography? Women might not watch it as much as men, but there are trashy romance novels, as well as chat rooms, and that can ensnare any woman, just as much as a playboy magazine can a man.
Affairs, Another lie we blame mostly on men for falling prey too. Nu-uh. Us as women, in case didn't realize, crave intimacy, affirmation of our beauty, and to be pursued and known. Jesus DID create us for this, but between us and HIM, or within our marriage, NOT outside in ANY way. Period.
That is where I want to shed light on for now. Taking it from one who knows from regretful experience, I want to encourage women to be on guard and to look for the signs. Like I've mentioned before, half the battle was sharing my sin with others. embarrassing and ashamed, I was relieved to find out I was NOT alone. After sharing, several other women came forward and pulled me aside to tell me "me too." It's not as uncommon as we realize. Once it was shed with light, I could begin change. With accountability and letting go of this "pet" I wanted to keep at all costs.
I've shared a bit of the extent of what I went through. I had small brief interactions with this certain gentleman. I would see him every so often while working. I knew only what others would tell me of him. This sparked mystery and curiosity in me, and instead of leaving it alone, I chose to pursue further. I would feast on everything I heard. I began to purpose myself to have some interaction with him. My attraction grew, my infactuation grew, all from creating something in my mind. It wasn't even real life. Yet, this man was NOT my husband. To be dwelling on someone else that isn't your husband is not ok. We would be devastated as women if we found out our man constantly thought about another woman, imagined himself with her, wondered about her all the time, and wanted her attention..Like it would matter if he said, "What, it's not like I'm sleeping with her."
Can I stop and ask you some honest questions to so we can examine our hearts together to see if this might have creeped into your life?
-Is there someone other than your husband, or even someone (if you are not married) that occupies a lot of your mind?
Does he seem mysterious, untouchable, you just kind of wonder what's going on over there?
-Based on if you might possibly see this person sometime throughout the day, do you plan what you will wear, hoping to get his attention? Do you go out of your way to run into him, hoping he will notice you?
-Do you wonder if he feels any attraction towards you? Do you want to talk or spend time with him out of earshot or eyesight of anyone else?
-Do you "stalk" this person on facebook? c'mon, it's easy to do and no one asks you how much time you've spent there..
Maybe some of these seem a little extreme, but believe me, they start small and perpetuate really FAST.
If you answer yes to one or all of them, I urge you to take a good hard look at your heart and mind and consider that you have fallen prey to the makings of an emotional affair. It sounds so harsh-the word "affair", but do not lighten the fact that your mind and soul is peeking in another man's garden.
STOP it. Cut it by the roots and remove it. It may be simple, it may be painful. But it is necessary. I am no expert, but I am an experienced sinner and I know what it takes to rip it out, crush it, and walk humbly in victory once again and be filled with His rich, white purity. I know I talk about this stuff a lot, but it's real and present and I am beyond passionate about women being set free from this and being the lovers to their husbands that God intended them to be.
I encourage you to walk in the Light. Find women to share and be accountable with. Set boundaries for yourself. Do what it takes to protect your heart and marriage at all costs. If you find yourself constantly spending too much time stalking guys on Facebook, maybe you need to remove them from your friends list.
May be extreme, but being holy IS extreme. Find yourself lusting and daydreaming about made up men characters in romance novels (clean or not?) stop reading them then. Have self control and know your weak areas.
I'm not trying to bully or intimidate you. Only want the purest and best for you. Only want you to walk in freedom and light and remove anything that may hinder you from full intimacy and trust with your spouse. My warning is that once it entangles you, it ensnares you and it is difficult to cut the vines from your body. I just want this road to not be walked at all.
Jesus took my sin of an emotional affair and pried my fingers gently, but very firmly and shed a whole lotta light on it. It was painful and disgusting. In the light I could tell how much it had rotted and what a nasty growth it had become. It hurt to have the great Doctor remove it. But oh, the healing and beauty He replaced it with! He sewed it up, and cleaned it, which leaves me sensitive and all to aware if what once burrowed there.
If you feel like sharing or just want to get it off your chest so we can take steps to heal, I'd be glad to listen and pray with you. I'm not afraid to ask the hard questions either. But I listen with compassion and humility because I am above no one. I am still weak and seek Jesus about this stuff all the time. We're broken vessels remember?
But please remember there is great hope in the Saviour.
email me here or at: jkenglish11@gmail.com
-
No comments:
Post a Comment