Isla Mujeres, the Summer of 2012

Home! And so glad to be.
The trip was incredible, and do i have stories to tell! I cannot believe (well, I CAN) how God remained faithful and poured on His favor both before and throughout this trip. I don't really even know where to start, so I guess I'll list what I remember and explain:

-2 days before we were supposed to leave, we discover the overlooked detail that Nathan's passport is EXPIRED. what.the.world. Nathan was distraught and devastated. However, through a prayer and a DIVINE miracle, nathan called the passport agency, in which he was given an appointment the next day in Chicago, but there were absolutely NO guarantees. He left at dawn the next morning, headed for Chicago, and the agency called HIM. (unheard of.) "Do you still need to be issued a current passport, Mr. English?" yes, yes, he did. "Well, please come as soon as possible. Tell the guards we are expecting you. We will see what we can do." (again. UNHEARD of. unless, you have God on your side, in which we DID!) Nathan said he felt like strong hands guided him the entire way through. A huge city, where to go? The passport agency is located on the 18th floor of the Federal Building. By God's grace and favor, Nathan ended up there. He had the correct papers. He was instructed to return promptly at 1:00pm. He did so, and received a brand new passport. Less than 24 hours later. Have i mentioned this is unheard of? Praise God for His marvelous deeds.

-my right eye (the bum one) was in incredible pain just days before we were to leave. It was acting up, scratchy and irritated. it was also glossy and red and clearly noticeable. I was wallowing in self pity, frustrated that I wouldn't look good in any pictures and I wanted to look my best, especially since my husband just so happens to be a professional photographer and there would be a LOT of picture snapping..God touched it. It was almost clear the entire week we were there. It was healthy, moisturized, and did not detract from my beauty at all. I was so relieved and thankful. Any beauty that might have been captured-ALL credit is DUE HIM and His kindness, and the excellent marksmanship of the photographer. I was just thrilled to have a happy eye. I know it was a special gift, because as soon as we returned home, my eye is back to its bag of sandy bones self and about as useful as an ice cube in a crockpot. Sigh. I'm still hoping He heals it for good someday..

-one of my biggest concerns and causes for anxiety was how Norah would do while we were gone. Would she cry a lot? Would she be cranky or difficult? Would she not take to the bottle? I just had mixed feelings of her being ok without me. But I was blown away at how well she did. And mom and dad English did too. The fact that we didn't really end up leaving the house till Friday was a blessing in disguise. This gave all of us almost 2 whole days to be together and make a wonderful transition. I kind of wanted to watch how mom interacted. Them living in California does not give them consistent time with my kids and to just drop 2 kids on them for a week, might just be an adjustment. They fell in love and were complete softies as far as the children were concerned. Which was what I wanted. No tough love this week. Every time we skyped with them and the kids, they looked so happy and content. It did wonders to my heart. No crying or outbursts they told me. Norah slept great, any disruption was easily cured with a paci. Ben was well behaved and impressed them with his 600 word vocabulary. He never peed his pants. Norah not only took the bottle, one of my best friends, Stephanie came over a ton of times and nursed Norah so she wouldn't forget. I was so touched and humbled at her thoughtfulness and unselfishness. All small things, but mounting to a big thing. Big in that God was clearly in the details. Big in that He saw my foreseen and unforeseen needs and completely provided a Good and Right hand, and I praise Him.

-milk supply. I pumped the first day or two on vacation because I was engorged and it was uncomfortable! But, I stopped because I felt like every time I'd pump, it would cause my milk to come down even more. So, because of my own selfishness and discomfort, I just let it go and hoped that everything would turn out when I got home. Towards the end of the trip, my milk didn't even come down anymore. I could barely squeeze out a few drops. I was drier than a well in a desert. I came home and nursed her immediately, and she sucked for comfort and to reestablish the bond, but I could feel no pull, no comedown, nothing. My heart dropped. It would be one thing if she was ready to quit, and she IS close to doing so, and she natually moved on. But, if it's something that I could have prevented for at least another month or so, then it's absolutely my fault if she no longer nursed. It WAS my fault. My frozen milk supply had dwindled (most of it being used while we were gone) and I was dried up. I had no choice but to go pick up some formula to supplement for the missing milk and additional solids she was eating. I was really sad and disappointed in myself and selfishness. I have nothing against formula, but it wasn't my first choice. I had sacrificed my daughter's health in a way for my own comfort. And now I was paying for it severely. I was not as ready as I thought to give up nursing entirely.
Norah drank the last bag of breast milk I had and began on the formula. Still no breast milk from me. I silently confessed to Jesus and admitted my own weak flesh had won out (yet again) and understood the consequences. I felt his mercy and forgiveness and I couldn't ask for more. Yet, our God is a God of restoration and making things new. Monday morning, 4 days after we had come home, I was in the toy room with Benjamin and Norah just sitting on the floor. For some reason, I had the urge to nurse Norah-I don't even know why bc I hadn't really since the first night we were home and occasionally at night for comfort. She never got any milk out of the deal. Well, Norah started nursing and I was watching that she was swollowing!?! I pulled her off and milk was dribbling everywhere!! Ahhhhh! He brought it back! God was so good to me. I had resigned to being done nursing and my boobs were pretty lifeless anyways, and now all the sudden they were hefty! Praise God from whom all blessings {LITERALLY} flow.

-plane rides, connecting transportation to/from airport, ferry boats to/from island all went successfully without a hitch. No robberies are shadiness. Mexico has its dangers certainly, but we were spared and heavily protected by angels.

-oh, and one more big thing, Dad English built me the most beautiful kitchen island!! It's been a dream of mine to have one in the kitchen, but not putting too much hope in it. This island is above and beyond whatever I was even thinking. Dad built the counter tops back in his wood shop in CA, and shipped the 2 pieces (it's bi-level) over here. I was not allowed to see anything until I came home. He then sawed and painted and assembled while we were gone and this beautiful kitchen island appeared! Made of red and white oak with inlays of Honduran mahogany. I think it meant a lot to me because I really felt affirmed and loved. Dad probably spent 30 hours making that, and I knew it was a way for him to express his love through service and gift, as well as affirming my ability and passion for the culinary realm.

I just praise Jesus for His faithfulness. How good He has/is to us when we clearly do NOT deserve it. Who are we, that we would receive any kind of favor or grace from Him? Small, insignificant, scraggly little sinners, and He still scoops us up and pours His love. We do not take His gifts lightly. We would be nowhere without HIM.
I'll be sure to share some real pictures soon. I think I just wanted to jot down for myself His goodness so I would not forget.
as if I would.

*to see the pictures from our trip, if you feel like it (seriously, do NOT feel obligated) you can hope over to nathan's blog where he posted a feel for the place. Here's the link:
http://nathanpenglish.wordpress.com/
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