amanda.

I met Amanda today.
I've seen her around, sitting on the last bleacher
at church.
She 's fiercely beautiful,
so i take that as fierce. unapproachable.
a little intimidating.
I ask what the word on the street concerning her is
and gather various tidbits of information.
I can tell she's clever, quick, witty
and sharp.
there seems to be a wall, but I'm determined to crash it.
She surprised me with an inquiry,
asking maybe we could meet up sometime?
I'm befuddled and a little terrified at
why a cool cat like her would
want to cross paths with a homeschooled mom like me.
But I won't shy away.
so I agree.
My pride tells me to make sure I look good
and appear pressed and ironed.
I want to impress and I am hoping to arrive first
to stay in control of the situation.

hell no.

Amanda is patient as I arrive 15 minutes late
and have to wear my coke bottles
and shreds of yesterdays makeup
oh, and stringy unwashed hair.
and I've begun the onset of a nasty cold.
So control or poise has definitely abandoned me.

We hug and I am stunned at the warmth I receive.
Where is this hard ass I expected to find,
the sarcastic spirit I so clearly misjudged?
She walks with me to the counter to get a drink
and i notice some loose bills beneath the cash register.
I move forward to pay
and what do we have here-
another surprise. Amanda has paid for me with the
money she left up there beforehand.

I am humbled. stripped of pride and confidence immediately
and we sit down while I try and keep my lose strings together.
Amanda is full of sunshine and grace,
a quiet and gentle spirit
she always looks me directly in the eye
but my spirit feels safe with hers.

Somehow in this one meeting,
her walls are nowhere to be seen
and it dawns on me that i might have been the one with the wall
and she had climbed it in one smile and was sitting comfortably
on my side.
Lord, forgive me for my mistaken ideas and
misplaced preconceived notions.
This woman is wonderful
and there is nothing to fear.

We talked of everything. Relationships. friendships,
food and community. We wasted no time in formalities
and shared in weakness and in pain.
Even the darkness was brought to the light
and I felt my spirit awakening and bursting into this
unforeseen joy as we shared our hearts.

they say like spirits resonate with like spirits

There was room for us to encourage and dip into
our jars of honeycomb wisdom, savor every word.
We sipped our drinks and laughter flowed easily
and heartily and it was fun to find so many
"me too"s.

I praise and thank the Lord for always humbling me
always humbling
bringing me to the bottom
of whatever it is that i think I know
and gently showing me His ways
are so much better than my ways
and though I can't see what's next in front of me
(probably because I'm either glaring or squinting)
I am to trust Him and if I'll have it,
He has huge gifts and promises to offer.

the time with Amanda was really wonderful
eharmony only wished it set us up.
We both like crass jokes
and like to mock hipsters
but we both know what it means to be tender
and get your feelings hurt too easily
and I am thankful for
this new kindred spirit
now in
my
life.