tears of joy

I feel like I've been writing a lot about the sadness and brokenness I witness around me, I don't mean to, I think my heart is drawn to it for some reason, and my spirit seems so awakened to the hurt and bleeding around me. I know it sounds so dramatic, but I truly feel like the Lord has given me a heart of discernment and to glimpse beneath the surface of the walking wounded. I am not sure what Jesus wants me to always do with that all the time, but I feel tremendously for those around me and I beseech the Lord on their behalf and I have seen Him move in powerful ways, and I believe all the more in His redemptive power and transformation in the lives of His beloved.

I am convicted tonight to come before Him with a humble and thankful heart. I push away from it a little bit because my own heart is a little raw and sad, but that should not stop me from praising Him for what He has done already and is doing right before my very eyes.

So, Jesus. I just want to stop and reflect on what You have done and what you are doing. I have experienced Your generosity and provision both directly and through the ministry of others.

the woman I wrote about in Broken Glass is an answer to prayer. She speaks of Jesus and her demeanor has transformed from tired and weary, to a glimpse of simple joy. I see You moving there, where once I only saw darkness forming.

You have provided for our family in many miraculous ways lately, in time of need, one being providing a new vehicle. We have been thinking about a van for our growing family, and understand that our car was on its last leg. A van opportunity came our way, but we did not have quite enough funds to purchase it. We needed You to intercede and we did not have the exact amount until the very day we were to make the purchase. We are now the proud owners of a 2003 Honda Odyssey. All praise to You, our Great Provider.

We remember You in our times of want and need and living small and frugally, not having pennies to pinch together and You again, in Your great love, have blessed us and have provided more work and income for Nathan which means a more consistent money flow and I can buy groceries again:)


speaking of groceries, someone or a a family of somebodies anonymously  surprised us with a generous gift card to Meijer to purchase groceries. It could not come at a more appropriate time and we praise God for keeping His eyes on His sparrows, and for leading this family to bless.

We haven't shopped for clothes or anything not deemed necessary since who knows how long. I found a gift card in my wallet from Christmas that I had received as a stocking stuffer, thinking it was just a little something, certainly not much, and Nathan and I headed into the store to check it out. We had never even been in that store where the gift card was from, and asked the cashier if she could check the amount. "$93.45." WHAAAT?! That is NOT what we were expecting. We were so excited and felt like it was a special gift for us and I split it with Nathan. So we could buy a few shirts and some jeans.

that's it for now. but already, it has uplifted my spirit to dwell on His goodness and faithfulness and i ask Him for a renewed sense of thankfulness, because i assuredly deserve nothing.

it is all but a gift.