Saturday, March 30, 2013

Choosing His Shalom over Chaos.

Today is a day that I woke up not wanting to maintain a thankful spirit. But after the discipline of having my daily devotions, my heart is soft and renewed, and He has given me a steadfast spirit. Now, more than ever, I choose to be thankful, rather than tired and angry. I choose His peace over my chaos. I trust Him, and I will continue to praise Him. 

These next ten gifts are what I have found despite the first glance of discord.

 Gifts 41 through 50.

 41. Norah is sick. Fever, snotty nose, eye guck, lack of sleep. I am thankful that she had enough energy to eat a bowl of cereal and a Clementine and lots of water. Despite her lethargic and weak state, she is staying hydrated and nourished. She is sad and cries a lot, but I am thankful for the gift to be needed. She won't let me out of her sight and snuggles tightly to me. That makes me feel special as a mama. 

 42. Benjamin is at the end of his cold, although there is still a lot of nose blowing (ick) but i have been blessed to see his gentleness and patience with his sister. He has been so helpful, grabbing me diapers, sharing his toys (and that is not an always) and speaking softly to her. I had to get out of the bed for a second to grab the thermometer and Benjamin snuggled in next to her and I found him caressing her face and whispering in her ear. The character of that boy is shaping, and I praise God for the traits I am seeing. 

 43. The old feelings of jealousy and feeling threatened had creeped up in some interactions and i called on the name of the Lord. It Is not my concern if someone else has to prove themselves over and over again, and shout from the rooftops who are what they are. I can observe, and praise Jesus that I don't need to do that, that He alone is my identity and my worth and abilities are hidden in Him. The public eye should not hold so much weight. Thank you, father for the gift of Your assurance, and the gift of things unseen. 

 44. Nathan has been gone a lot, between work and scheduled events, I was supposed to be with him for some, but with the kids being sick, I've been home with them. I praise God for a spirit that has not become embittered or resentful. If anything, Jesus has been strengthening our marriage all the more. We have been connecting every evening with meaningful conversation, both having opportunities to share our hearts, to pray together, and peace and unity remains strong in our home. All glory to You, Father. 

45. This sun that has chosen to shine his full glory has blessed the socks off my spirit. Sunshine is worth gold to me, and he has been very generous the last couple of days and I am thankful. The kids played outside, Nathan and I took them for a walk, and I haven't had to wear such a heavy coat. This promise of spring has been intoxicating. 

 46. My computer is broken. I don't understand why it's frozen and not cooperating, but I am thankful that there is still a number of other [apple] products to get stuff done. If I have to use the iPad to type all these letters individually to remind myself to be thankful, then so be it. There is a gift to be found here. 

47. I cleaned my bedroom. If at least one or two rooms are clean and tidied, than I feel like there is some accomplishment, and I can rest among the rest of the chaos. It doesn't seem so loud. 

 48. Toilet paper. We've been using a ton of it around here. Blowing noses, wiping butts, dabbing at eyes. Toilet paper is a gift. 

 49. The gift of a newly created drink. I have been boiling water and scooping 2 tsps of cinnamon and tablespoon of honey all into a cozy mug. It curbs my appetite, boosts my metabolism, and both cinnamon and honey are good for your insides. Drinking this concoction encourages me that I am taking ownership and practicing self control in my eating/drinking habits. It's just a small act, but it propels me to make even more better decisions in what I am eating or drinking. 

 50. Birds talking outside my window. I don't know what they're talking about, but it sounds like joy.

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