holding hands with humility

In a large crowd or in a bigger group, if you want to bring humility along with you, 

maybe go through this mental checklist and ask yourself these questions:

-am I being loud to be joyful and outgoing, 

or to draw as much attention to myself as I can?

Am I inwardly being needy for eyes to be on me?

-am I talking about myself, or am I asking purposeful questions of others?

am I aware of the outside of myself?

-am i talking over others, interrupting? 

Or am I being an active listener, giving others ample platforms to speak?

Am i competing, trying to prove something?

-Am I putting others above myself? 

Am I lowering myself to serve others?

am I looking for the unnoticed, 

the awkward, the ones in need of a friend?

-Do i try and add to the mass, or am I able to sit quietly in restful contentment?

-Am I looking to impress and wow, or am I aware of my smallness and am ok if I am not

the center of attention?

Just thinking about these ideas because I recently was put in the position of being in a large group of people, and my husbandcovering was teaching me a few of these concepts before I left and I tried to be more aware this time when I entered the group. And honestly it was hard. It was as I feared, a lot of these questions were answered quite the opposite and think of that being multiplied by many and I had no idea where I fit, but that's just it. Do I even want to fit in a group like that? It was not restful at all. There was this tenseness beneath the loud mouths and overcompensating laughter. But Jesus, in His grace, quieted my soul and spirit and gently navigated me through it and it was a great learning experience. I don't look at those people with pride and arrogance, like I possess something they don't, I want us all to be able to have good quality conversations and godly fellowship. I want us to be one in the bond of love. Also, I am not saying be a wall flower, on the contrary, I would not be mistaken for a wall flower, but I think there is a wise and discerning way to handle yourself in a crowd.  I just want to encourage you to ask yourself these questions. I pray that maybe they can help in some way and you can be a light in the darkness, and in that, you will not be hidden.