just because I write this
doesn't mean
I'm making room for you
to move back inside my heart
I am only revisiting
because this evening you approached
my husband
introduced yourself as my friend
innocently, oblivious,
I had always thought...
now, I am not so sure.
either way, it doesn't matter.
so what if you remember me-
I remember you too,
accompanied by nasua.
I am reminded of my sickness.
feel the weight and sharpness
of the shackles
I am all too familiar
with that pungent oder,
the emanation of the flesh.
this is the second time
you have brazenly walked up to my husband,
and as he relays to me
the seemingly casual interaction
I can't help but
cry out to God,
a desperation,
a whisper of gratitude
of the forbidden unknown
I have been saved from.
I almost chose the path
to destruction,
The path of darkness and shame.
I could have been
buried alive
without ever glimpsing the
Light again.
but He has saved me.
He has forgiven me.
I was washed by the Water
and I walk,
head down in quietness and humility,
but firmly planted in Him.
My eyes,
heart,
soul,
stray not to the right
or to the left.
least of all,
they do not rest on
any part of you.
I am fully hidden in Christ,
In the committed love
of my husband,
I desire no other place of
refuge.so I guess you better be on your way,
old man.
there isn't
any
r o o m.
2 comments:
Girl... your honesty is always so refreshing. The example of being completely vulnerable and one with your husband... even in the yuck and dirt... brings glory to God. And not only that - challenges ME to examine how honest I am in my marriage! Funny how a wayward past makes God's power and plan shine that much more brightly. Love it.
thank you, Linds, for your encouraging words. Not a fun place to revisit, but praise God He is. Redeemer and and Rescuer and I can be reminded of this even amidst the yucky spots
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