ponder.

[she busied her hands with the towel,
eyes meeting her own 
in the mirror next to the tub.
she lowered her eyes and looked at her hands
her left finger empty
with traces of a thin white line 
the only real remainder of the sparkle 
that normally found a home there.
she fixed her gaze again to her own image.
who was that woman?
it looked like a shell like resemblance 
of the woman she used to be.
here before her 
looked a haggard, tired woman,
aged quickly within the last 6 months,
she was startled at a second glance 
at the eyes.
sunken and hollow, 
they were pools of sadness,
streaked with bolts of anger.
but mostly she saw clouds of 
resignation threaten to spill 
from the edges 
and into her entire being.
how long? 
how long could she keep this up?
her life had been a continual
waiting game, 
a guessing game,
a game of creating the next excuse,
not her herself, 
but for him.
she was sick and tired of playing games.
her life wasn't a game.
her children weren't a game.
but still, her heart called for his name
with every beat
somewhere in the depths of her
still clung to hope, 
to the wonder and sparkle.
sigh.
she reached her fingers
chipped with pink paint remnants
and gently slid the flash of silver
back on her left hand.
she breathed deeply,
turned out the bathroom light
and stepped out.]