I do my very best to be genuine, unpretentious, and strive for humility in all things. it is NEVER my intention to brag, be boastful, or smear my life in people's faces. I always try and explain myself as thoroughly as i can, and my character tries to be honest and share both the glam and the messy parts.
there is only so much i can do with this heart intent on social media, but i really do try.
so often i see complaining, one upping, sugar coated fluff, or just downright negativity, so i try and steer clear of that, and try and be a fresh opposite. I post pictures of my kids, the food i am learning how to make, but my favorite thing to post about is my husband and my marriage.
My heart behind that is to uplift my husband, to invite respect and honor his way, to shed light on taking the time to encourage him, it is only a continuing way i love him privately, that gets out poured publicly also. i want to love and pursue my husband in all different ways, and instragram is only a small delightful way i can pursue him, with words of affirmation, acknowledging him before others, and sharing how proud of him i am.
it isn't about anything else, competing with anyone else, sending some sort of subliminal undermining message to someone else, it truly is meant to just be a simple pure way i can lift both the joy of marriage, and how wonderful my husband is to me, that's it.
it has been brought to my attention that those posts about my husband or about our marriage could be interpreted as making others feel less, like they aren't doing enough in their own marriage because they aren't doing the same as me, or posting about their spouses or marriages.
my heart is discouraged that someone would think that, that by me posting my own little tiny bursts of joy and positivity, would spur those types of thoughts when that is the furthest from what i have been trying to convey.
i want my posts to reveal that we are two imperfect nobodies that Jesus has given us the undeserved gift of marriage. I want it to be for the record that we are doing our best to pursue and love each other in a joyful, uplifting ways, so that others might be encouraged that marriage can be held in high regard, even after years of it, kids coming along, and everything else that could possibly distract or cloud the horizontal line between us..my prayer is that other marriages would be encouraged through our tiny imperfect love, and maybe even a bit challenged to take time to pursue their own loves, in their own way-any creative way you choose to pursue your spouse is awesome, i certainly am not trying to say do it "our" way or you are less for not doing so.
sigh. it might just come down to the fact that i can't please everyone, and no matter how hard i try to be clear and spell out my motives and intentions, there will still be those out there that are not pleased.
i don't want people to feel like they have to "keep up" or feel as though they have to do what i'm doing to keep their own marriage in tact. if it encourages you to examine your own marriage and possibly want to do more, then great! we are called to spur on each other-but i definitely am not intending to tear others down or discourage them. that makes me sad. this is just one of the tiny ways i choose to do it.
instragram is my own tiny photo journal and i use it to capture and record small bits of joy that Jesus gives me in my little tiny colorful life. it isn't better or worse than anybody elses, i invite others to rejoice along with me, but i am never offended if you choose not to, or thumb on past.
sigh. this conversation just made me stop and re examine my own motives and heart for posting and sharing, and though it made me sick that this person [and who knows how many others] think this about me, i have to ultimately surrender it to the Father and invite Him to convict me or correct if there needs to be. if not, i have to let it slide, and if i still feel His peace in posting, then i move on and continue to do my best to be transparent and small.. .
thank you for taking the time to read my tiny little rant or whatever this is, please don't misunderstand me...
6 comments:
jana, wow, i have a couple of thoughts.
one, praise God that i've been given the opportunity to be close to your heart and i know that your goal in posting has only ever been out of joy and gratitude or as an encouragement to your husband who just so happens to be a photographer and whose heart beats at the sight of photographs with vivid captions to follow.
two, i know the feeling of comparison, guilt, discontentment that comes from seeing others' beauty when i still hope for some of my own - however - i also know that living out of my wholeness in Christ satisfies the lack in so. many. ways. He turns my feelings of comparison into feelings of celebration, mutual encouragement, and hopefulness.
praying that your little heart is encouraged by our Father who knows why you do what you do. praying that the Church is increasingly unified in our ability to carry one another's burdens and to celebrate the gifts.
love you.
thank you so much Tammy, for your words of encouragement and wisdom. My heart is to always be soft and small to hear correction or criticisms-unmerited or not. I am learning to weed through them, hold them to the Light, however painful they may be, and seek His face first and foremost. thankful for another opportunity to learn and grow.
i think when you talk about your husband it makes other people inspired to love their husbands well and reminds them that loving their men out loud is so important. the end.
Thank you Chelsea baby. You are such an amazing uplifter of your husband and I learn from you to look past the nittys and look for the joys, for there are many!!
Oh Jana! I am so annoyed that someone would misinterpret your posts and then have the nerve to tell you their misinterpretation! I mean honestly Jana, you have been SO clear in your posting that "hey, this is my photo journal. Please don't follow if you don't want to.". I mean... SO STINKING CLEAR. and you always speak with vulnerability, transparency, positivity... and because I seriously have no idea who said this to you I feel a certain level of freedom to say BULL. I mean really. Bulllllllll crap. You are so obviously not doing that. So very clearly. Also because I can hardly imagine anyone thinking that about your posts in the first place, I would like to encourage you by saying I highly HIGHLY doubt anyone else is thinking those same thoughts when you post things.
Sorry for all of the caps lock action on this comment. I just struggle with the freedom to post stuff sometimes too and I am frustrated that your sense of freedom on Instagram was taken from you in a small way once again. I love your posts. I love how honest and transparent you are. You are not misunderstood. Your heart is so very clear on your intention for social media usage.
Also I am very tired and waiting to take some sheets out of the dryer so I hope none of this comes across as hostile I just don't want to give you a fluffy response I want you to know that there are people who you don't even know very well who can see very very obviously the intent of your heart. IT IS SO OBVIOUS you aren't rubbing anything in.
If someone feels threatened or saddened by the way you love your husband and the way you speak about your life than I think it is a very real possibility they were feeling a little bit of conviction and rather than saying, "Wow, she inspires me. I want to be like that. I should try harder to honor and raise up my husband/family/kids/life." They decided to go the other route which is, "Ugh. SHE made me feel bad." The blame does not lie on you, but that is where it was placed.
I don't want to dismiss your feelings because someone saying they interpreted my posts in that way would really devastate me because that is never my intention, either. So I totally can see that this might have spiraled you into a bit of insecurity so I'm here to just SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS that your heart is seen and heard and understood. Please don't stop sharing whatever you want to share whenever you want to share it.
::Fist bump of solidarity::
P.S. I hope none of this was out of line and that you, too, can see my heart in it!
can you just write my blog from now on? Cause seriously, you are such a brilliant writer and when I was reading all this I could almost hear you talking and the tones you were taking;) seriously, your response was so encouraging and refreshing to hear-thank you so much for taking the time to seek me out and share with me. Your words soaked in and mean much. You are a gift to me, beautiful Leslie. thank. you.
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