sunny days over dark days

it stops today.

the anger

the bitterness

the resentment welling up

inside me

you have taken too much room

inside my brain

in the darkest corners

of my heart

i don't want it anymore

too much conviction

from the Father

too much sound 

wisdom wounds from friends

it is time for me to 

heed the warnings

i can't wait for you to decide

to uproot with me 

because what if 

you never do

no, the required 

forgiveness, 

my bitterness

cannot be based on you

it will have to be 

Him in me

doing a work

I cannot complete on my own

i am sorry

i am sorry

i am sorry i have held onto these heavy bags of malice,
grudges, 
and wrong doings,
this long list that i want to continue
to jot down,
i will take out this rubbish
and place it at the cross.


Forgive me, Lord
of pride,
of blaring arrogance
in thinking i am so just
to point the finger
forgive me for being so 
hypocritical 
in wracking up accusations
when i have been guilty of some of 
the same.

forgive me, Lord. 

help me remove the weights
and replace them with 
Your grace, 
mercy, and love.

Give me eyes to see less flaws
and more opportunities 
for compassion.
Take my heart of stone,
and replace it with a heart 
of gentleness 
and opportunities to 
overlook 
multitudes 
of imperfections.

i am imperfect.
i am flawed.
i struggle with pride, 
foolishness, and 
insecurity.

i am sorry i only recognized that in you
the closer i look
this plank looks pretty huge 
in my own eyes

Lord have mercy on me.