surname

how was it 
that all this time
i rejected and despised you
not wanting to even 
whisper 
you 
for fear and 
embarrassment of you 
and what i 
thought 
you meant. 
i did not want to 
stand next
to you, 
be associated 
with you 
i would rather have been 
anywhere else 
than here 
with you.
and yet you stayed with 
me
sitting in the untouched, 
darkened corners of
me, 
untended, 
nearly forgotten.
and now.
you rise again,
revealing your true self
and i am humbled and 
willing to admit 
i was wrong about
you. 
i tried to run away from you
trying to find
another way
but it turns out
i needed to come back to you 
to learn that you held 
a piece of the 
puzzle that i was missing.
i look at you now, 
test out your name 
on my lips
once again
and find myself loving you
in your simplicity 
and loveliness
and i am shadowed with a 
faint sorrow 
that i didn't invite you to the 
light sooner. 

you are altogether lovely. 
i will be first to say 
i was wrong about you. 
i am sorry. 
you are mine 
and i will claim you as my own. 

-birth name.