wednesday visits

another wednesday 

r o l l s around 

i have grown not to mind it 

the weekly check up 

of my eye. 

doctor always comes in 

both eyes on me 

he means business 

but there is always room for 

a little laughter

a little encouragement 

a little more 

hope. 

he rolls his chair towards me 

his large machine hung between us.

he tells me to place my hands 

on the small square table
[he needs me stable and still] 

and his hands  
rest over mine 

for just a moment 

and then move on. 

he checks my eye 

with a slow thoroughness 

a tedious care, 

commanding me to 

hold my eye at attention

directing with a 

"look left!"

"look lower left!"

"look down"

until it seems 

 my eye has traveled 

around the sun and back. 

he pulls back after 

mumbling softly 

to his scribe 

who is recording all 

the present developments 

he asks me how i'm doing 

with the drops 

and i don't have it in me 

to lie 

so i tell him the truth

knowing i will probably be 

yelled at. 

of course he doesn't really 

yell per say, 

but i do get a good 

reprimanding. 

it is a wake up call for sure 

i am taking those eye drops 

for a reason 

and just because we've been given 

all this good news so far 

doesn't mean my eye is 

out of the water 

and everything will be ok. 

i am the first to proclaim 

that i am not guaranteed 

my eye back. 

he reminds me of that too-

scar tissue could form on the back 

of the eye 

which could pull back the retina 

and detach it.

again. 

i cringe beneath his solemn correction,

but again, 

my heart is full of gratitude to be 

given a doctor who gives 

even one or two shits 

about me and my little 

insignificant eye. 

i've been coming for weeks now, 

always hoping for good news, 

but ever lingering on the thought 

it might not be. 

nothing is given. 

i am absolutely entitled

to nothing. 

there have been an abundance of 

gifts the 

gentle generous 

Father has given 

throughout this 

difficult season of darkness. 

He is been 

so faithful 

so kind 

and my gratitude only grows. 

wednesdays have become 

milestones.

marking another notch in this season 

measuring the climb 

back up to the light. 

today was 

actually fun-

there was room for chit chat 

we find out doctor G 

has a 14 year old son 

and i like that bit of news 

because it makes him more human, 

it means there can only be 

more softness in him..

and i know his lovely wife is 

brown like me- 

and who knew i could have 

even just a small something

in common 

with my eye surgeon?

again. 

i walk in thankfulness. 

a hope placed in my Father, 

the Great Healer, 

the One who knows 

my name,

and i am humbled 

at where i have been taken

yes, 

to the depths below, 

but oh how glorious 

is the Light!