lingering goodbye

"i don't know, 
but something about 
funerals, 
i think i have 
grown to love them," 
chelsea shared 
softly. 
and i think 
i agree with her. 
it's not love funerals 
in some sort of sick twisted
sadistic way either. 
it's a 
love that sees the wet dew 
sticking to everything 
kind of way, 
and seeing everyone's hearts 
sitting in their laps 
soft like moss 
growing greener by the second. 
it's a 
love how family and close ones 
ascend upon the same place 
at the same time 
and all the sudden you're 
seeing faces that you've 
almost forgotten 
and you are reminded 
that they. are. your. family. 
it's a 
love of 
paying homage, 
offering respect, honor, 
and a solemn remembrance 
of the one you've said goodbye to.
remembering 
is a good thing. 
memories are all that's left now 
and those become 
most treasured gifts. 
i like funerals 
because i don't see much 
clinging to hard and sharp edges 
but a dripping, 
soaking fabric of 
softness 
i see draped on 
everyone's shoulders. 
we buried my grandpa this week. 
and we cried and rejoiced through 
each of the portions 
and no one was in 
any hurry. 
we sat through a simple lunch 
of funeral food. 
ham on buns, 
with ample dollops of 
gold butter 
l i n g e r i n g  
allowing our stories 
to float amongst us
and again, 
the sweet smell of 
memory 
never smelled so fragrant 
so good. 
it came time 
to lower him 
down beneath the tired earth 
and the machine 
sang his old song 
each click 
down 
down 
down 
a ballad of finality 
we still could not bring ourselves 
to leave. 
we all traveled too far 
adapted too quickly 
to one another again 
only to have to say 
goodbye 
not only to grandpa 
but to each other. 
it was a gift. 
to be with cousins
both old and new 
a lot of us 
climbed over with 
children of our own-
a new generation of cousins..
a gift
to remember together 
to share this common thread 
of loss, 
hard goodbyes, 
and an assurance that 
we would meet again 
in this life 
and the next. 
so yes, 
i think i do like 
funerals too. 
i like the softness. 
i like the wetness 
everywhere 
the goodbyes are always hard, yes 
but they increase my 
joy and dancing 
of the 
hello yet to come.