brother brother

that's nice and all 
that you said you missed me 
to some one else 
but you haven't told me that 
you haven't told me anything at all 
for that matter 
not one text, phone call, 
a pop in to say hello, how are you. 
[all of those things used to be 
quite common, 
remember?]
the pain used to be pulsing, sharper, 
if i am honest..
but it has quieted 
and slowed to a dull by now.
i miss you too, brother.
miss the numerous meals shared, 
the talks on couches and 
wooden tables 
that exposed hearts
and brought about brokenness and 
accountability.
i miss that you lavished love on 
my husband and children 
and weren't afraid to embrace me fully 
as a sister in christ 
[and in color]
sigh. but 
the day always comes..
you found a girl that has occupied 
every corner of your heart. 
you can think of 
little else. 
i totally get it. 
seasons shift 
and priorities change. 
and for me, 
i want to honor 
this gift you have found-
in honor, purity, and respect..
so i have loosened my hands 
and have waited on the side lines
hoping for at least a smile 
or a remembrance of the joyful season [many seasons]
we all shared..
but sadly, i think that it 
all but over. 
but thank you for telling my
husband you missed me..
that was a tiny tiny gift 
i'll cherish..
goodbye for now,
my brother..