i am not there.

 maybe there is a gift in being 

invisible.
maybe it is more of a blessing than a curse
to be unseen sometimes. 
slip in, slip out, 
without burden or acknowledgement,
it's quite a breath of fresh air. 
i may walk down the street, 
down the aisle, 
park myself in the back pew, 
completely visible and yet invisible. 
there are no demands on me, 
to be more, 

to do more, 
to go here, or go there, 
because i am a well known person, 
in the spotlight, however dim, 
i am there, i am not there. 
and no one cares. 
i often view this as terrible, and i feel sorry for myself sometimes that i am not 

noticed more, 
called by name, 
drawn to. 
But then i witness local celebrities of our day, 
and i see how much they despise how much 
they are not able to simply slip away 
into the night 
without a price to pay. 
they can go nowhere without eyes 

stuck to their clothes like burrs, 
they cannot walk into a crowd and 

disappear, 
on the contrary, 
the air around them can feel suffocating 
as the bodies close in 

with their voices, 

their requests, 
their disappointments that the celebrity can not be 
best friends with 

every single one of them. 

No, i would much rather not feel that 

constant drain. 

I know that there is some degree of glamour it seems 

in being well known, front and center, 

and adored blindly. 

but how quickly that can change, 

and maybe it is ok that i have never tasted that, 

and i probably won't ever. 

no, i am content. 

to be still. 

to be so still sitting here, 

that i am mistaken for the 

very chair 

i 

am 

sitting 

in.