Peace, Dude.

I approached him with a shaky heart and disheveled demeanor.
He looked at me
reluctantly, hesitantly,suspicious.
I had planned on being
poised, well spoken, and had rehearsed
this conversation plenty of times in my mind.
It did NOT go that way.

Instead, I rushed him
and the words
and worry spilled forth
and the pent up strife
I had been
simmering on medium bust out.

I accused him of hating me (easy, drama queen)
And not liking me
and thinking I was something I was not
And judging me
and ignoring me and, and, and
(again, easy on the drama!)

shhh.

And would you believe, with all my rash words
And dagger glares
This gentleman's
true character was revealed.
He responded to have every harsh word
with soft answers.
He treated me with
gentleness and humility.
He apologized profusely for leading me to think
he did not care for me
or was purposely trying
to avoid me.
(and believe me, he had every right to not respond this way
after I went after him with my guns blazing)
He never meant to treat me that way
and felt horrible
that I got that impression.
He then said with a warm smile,
"Jana, today I'm going to
reaffirm that for you. we. are. friends."

Ahh, sweet relief.
A broken heart of humility
on my part once again.
Shame on me and
wounds that lashed out in ignorant anger.
But praise God for giving me
the peace (and grace) I so desperately needed between a brother
That peace He describes is truly one
That passes all reason.

Before the end of the day,
my new friend must
of said to me
a hundred times,
"hey, Jana. We are friends!"
Like a Father, reiterating His continued love for us.

I am thankful, wiser, and now have
a new brother.


p.s and for the record, this has not become an emotional affair
if you're wondering. The PEACEmaking was a big deal for me,
not to have his eyes or affections.