never the same

I offered you my friendship and grace
removing my judgmental attitude towards you
and your blaring confidence
and high performance cumpulsion.
I softened my heart towards you
as you pursued me a little quieter this time,
not demanding
anything from me,
but I liked it
that you hoped and welcomed my company eagerly.
I encouraged you to make amends with one close
to both of us,
I saw how it was tearing you both a part
and brothers in the body of Christ
ought to be unified
not at war with one another.
It finally came to a head as this warrior confronted you
in gentleness and an uncertain heart
you surprised me with your contrite response
a broken and humble spirit
you only said you were sorry many times
and there wasn't a but attached to any of them
you had shared your battles with us,
the defeats,
the surrenders
the losses.
 My respect for you changed that evening,
to one who would try and choose to give you the benefit of the doubt,
to a respect cloaked in admiration.

you hesitate now in clamoring for my attention.
stopped finding reasons [no matter how small]
to connect with me-
perhaps because it is not wise
locking eyes
with another man's wife
no matter how much purity or innocence may lie there.
I understand it too-
which softens the blow a bit,
but i can't help
but feel sad,
as though I've lost a friend.
I am aware of my own weakness
and how this could have become the bud of
a fruit I have no desire to eat.

so yes, thank you kindly
for the warm smiles,
the laughter
and the company

but for your sake
and mine
its best if you'd be going...