Thursday, March 28, 2013

1 No = 3 yesses.



our church is headed to Israel again this summer and my heart wanted to go so bad. i couldn't shake the pull to trek across the desert, to walk the steps of our carpenter Jesus, and soak the wisdom of Rod as he preached and taught along the way. I dreamt of hot sun and ancient dust that would fill my nostrils and cake on my open toed chico's. Libby (Rod's wife) even had stopped me and my husband at separate times with an eager question in her eyes, "you both are coming, right?" But God seemed to have a clear answer and it was a gentle "no." It took me some time to allow this to sink inside my heart, but I trusted Him, and peace slowly engulfed me and I was ok. Just in the nick of time too, because I am hearing about so many people I love who are getting the opportunity to go and by the grace of God, I am able to rejoice with them and not sit in jealousy or envy. Cause if my flesh were in charge, that's exactly how I would want to feel.

With this solid "no", I wondered what God had in store otherwise. Nathan and I have also been praying  about California because we miss his parents and we know all this time is passing and they are missing the grand kids growing at a rapid rate. We love being with them because we are so similar to them, laid back, adaptable, adventure seekers, and very real and transparent. We are always seeking their wisdom and council and we value the relationship with them highly. It is worth the investment of travel and plane tickets, worth gathering our offspring and giving mom and dad English the quality time to spend with their grandchildren. But of course that costs money just like everything else. And though Nathan is in the off season and has more time than in the summer, money does not flow in as fast and we have to budget carefully for the quiet months.  Was California even in the budget? Not really, but we were looking at numbers and accounts and ticket prices and Nathan found 3 tickets for under 300 dollars each  directly to San Francisco. An excellent deal. Nathan said there was enough in the bank account to purchase tickets, but what we really needed was a couple deposits to come in to pay for bills while we were gone, additional money to draw on if needed. I was hopeful, but somewhat skeptical. And it seemed I was right to be that way, Nathan told me with a sad heart that we would not be able to go because we were short the money. I was disappointed, but honestly very peaceful about it. I didn't want to have a bad attitude or sulk for Nathan's sake and also I knew it should never been expected, only hoped for. 

WELL....turn of events. Two days later Nathan comes home late from working at Starbucks and hunkers down on the couch exhausted from the long day. I snuggle in next to him and ask him about work and rub the back of his neck while he shares. He stops and looks at me and I am alarmed, 
"what? what? 
why are you looking at me like that? 
what's wrong?" and then he has this little crooked smile on his face and says, 
"I purchased tickets to California." whaaat. I'm mad at first. 
"What? WHY? 
we don't have the money! 
the deposits didn't come in time! We can't afford it!-
"yes, we can." he argues. He explained that a new deposit came in,  a client he had forgotten about, and it happened to be more than enough to cover our trip while we were gone.  Well, Jesus, you get a point. I have zero. I think, because we are not going to Israel, we get the opportunity to go to California, because we certainly could not have done both. Instead of spending almost 10 thousand dollars, we are spending about 9 hundred. I am awed at how God orchestrated this and provided when I thought his answer was just no period. 

We will be headed to California next month and with the blessing of Nathan having no weddings during that time, we will extend our stay to a little over 2 weeks. I praise Jesus for that California sunshine. 

One more blessing that came out of this "no", is because Greg and Will (our two worship pastors) are both going on the Israel trip, they have asked Nathan and I to step in as worship leaders while they are gone. It is a tremendous honor and something we have prayed about for forever and they have encouraged us to someday step into this role. We will be leading teams at both campuses while they are gone and we are so excited and humbled at the opportunity. Another blessing in disguise. 

just another tiny redemption story and a testimony of God's quiet faithfulness and revealing His wisdom  and his purposeful intervention. Thank you, Lord, that your ways are not my ways, and your thoughts are quite higher than mine. thank you for taking my disappointment and turning it into an unexpected joy. 



8 comments:

chelsmichal said...

God is so faithful and loves you lil baby jana... yay you get some rays!!

Unknown said...

yes yes yes!!! so excited for your sweet family to have time to relax and enjoy time with Nate's family. what a blessing to have a God who knows us so well and knows our hearts desire. so thankful that you guys can be blessed with time away.

Tammy Joy said...

such a beautiful, humble heart. a real gift.

J.K. English said...

thanks, C! We are so excited for this unexpected vacation! Now we both have something to look forward to together!!

J.K. English said...

i appreciate your enthusiasm, Rachel! thank you for sharing in my joy! He knows our hearts so intimately.

J.K. English said...

oh tamm. your words are a big glass of water. thank you, sweet sister.

Steph said...

oh sweet jana...thank you for sharing your beautiful heart. it blesses me to hear how God in His sovereignty and grace had your trip all orchestrated out. May He bless your time in SF with nathan's family!

J.K. English said...

steph, thank you for your encouragement. You are someone I love that GETS to go to ISRAEL!! I rejoice with you sister and cannot wait to hear the details when you come home. God is indeed faithful.