ffe.

you haven't heard a word from me, 
not one sound, 
but my heart is burdened
so that changes today.
i have watched
with a sunken heart,
as you have taken catapulted leaps
towards your destruction.
I have watched you slowly, 
deliberately, 
both deceitfully and obnoxiously
destroy a family
you once loved.
i remember a more care free time
when you would breeze on to the
Dairy Queen,
all three beautiful brown eyed girls in tow,
you used to make them pancakes
help them into their pajamas
and snuggle with them 
as the long summer days 
grew dark. 
you were quick to serve that family
and be a source of 
safety for them,
and now..
now you are the deepest, most sharpest
thorn that continues to 
cast barbs and draw blood
in them. 
in all of them.
their hearts will be forever wounded.
now as we sit here
in the wake of what you have done,
we see a husband ensnared by your rotting 
flesh of a trap, 
we see him addicted not to you, 
not to YOU, 
[please do not give yourself credit]
but to sin, and he is headed down his own path
of death.
we see a wife, 
[a woman with whom you once 
held in high regard]
completely disrespected, and torn apart
by your lies, 
your manipulation, 
and the knowledge of your freckled flesh
that entered into unholy communion
with her husband, 
the man she
made a HOLY covenant with. 
you broke into that and became 
a thief of the worst kind, 
stealing, 
plundering, 
staining 
something that was [IS] not yours. 
i will repeat myself, 
because to this day, 
you still TAKE WHAT IS NOT YOURS.
we witness the fact that this wife, 
has most clearly, 
in words easy for you to u n d e r s t a n d, 
has asked you, commanded you, 
to please stay away from her husband of holy covenant,
to not touch, talk, or contact him,
and also if its not too much trouble,
to STOP HAVING SEX with him,
that would be also echoing what 
God has asked and commanded you to do.
I still watch, 
as you cower in darkness, 
showing no remorse,
no regard, 
no taking ownership in the hand you played
in this devastating wreck.
i hear you say foolish statements such as
"I just don't have any self control!" or
"he loves me, we feel like we are married"
and to that i say
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU FOOL.
you claim all too loudly 
that you've got a right hand seat 
to the Father Almighty,
and you seem to know an awful lot
about what living a supposedly 
radical christian life looks like..
i see you carefully cut words 
out of the scripture
and stamp them onto your own agendas.
you've got yourself confused with mr. Gibson it seems, 
the way you bark about freedom.
freedom from what? 
from rules?
from covenants sealed by the Father?
Do you claim freedom from morals 
and having sex with who ever
and when ever you want?
then by all means. 
you are free.

i watch quietly, as the oldest brown eyed daughter,
asks quietly, 
"why is she still calling you, daddy?"
and my heart cracks as the brown in her eyes 
gets clouded with 
salty blue, 
"are you and mommy going to get a divorce? 
what did that girl do to hurt you mommy?"
do you have any. idea.
you adulterous woman, 
what kind of excruciating life long injuries
you have inflicted
not in just the heart of the woman 
you no longer
care or pretend does not exist?
[oh, and believe me, she does exist. 
not only does she exist, she thrives. 
and you can be assured she has risen up 
in a holy and righteous jealousy, 
and will protect and fight for the 
holy covenant she made with her husband. 
you are not invited. 
you are an intruder.]
would you think of those 
three beautiful brown eyed daughters
whom you once loved?
is it possible to set aside your selfish fleshy desires 
for them?
I beseech you, 
lost brier covered
simpleton sheep.
come back to the fold.
shed your old skin, 
shed the rags that stink like 
the deepest vile,
please repent before God and others,
please step out into the sun
and leave the darkness behind.
will you humble yourself
and ask for the truest forgiveness
and understand 
the weight of this burden?
Either way it won't be easy.
admitting, confessing, 
and turning from wickedness
usually is.
especially when you're used to it
and it feels so good.
I'll tell you what feels good.
living in the light.
telling the truth.
not being some married guy's
little treat on the side.
walking a steady path
that aligns up with God's word.
that feels good.
really though, 
it never had anything to do with what 
feels good.
it never did.
and that heart you so loudly proclaims 
is what leads you and guides you?
i have news for you.
the heart is deceiving.
please in the future,
don't rely on it as a 
moral compass-
it will lead you south.
[as we have all so clearly seen]
use the tangible map 
of God's Word,
for IT is the 
wellspring of Life.
please.
please. 
your earthly kingdom is coming 
slowly to ruin.
don't be destroyed with it.