journal entry 28924, oh and Salsa

man, it's been a bit since i've had the time to write, let alone spend any amount of time in my kitchen to recipe tinker, my husband graciously sent me out after dinner to get gather myself, my little mac, and park myself at a coffee shop to just exhale. you'd think i would feel refreshed after just being on a week long vacation sans the children, and don't get me wrong, our trip to the United Arab Emirates was incredible, but it did feel like a whirlwind and sometimes you come back bewildered from all that you have done and seen, and then you need another vacation from your vacation! ha. if that don't sound like a first world problem-"ew", as Alexis from Schitt's Creek would say..

We've been back for almost a week now, and the same craziness that was there before was waiting for us when we came back home. an unfinished bathroom. it is gutted and filled to the brim with tools, buckets, tile, and paint-it just stares at us, mocking us at least a little that we haven't moved far forward with that project. there are school responsibilities that i have to manage and sort through. koko needs to be worked closely with concerning reading, she is falling far behind. this discourages me a little bit because we have been trying to work hard with her at home and my hope is that she would have been reading fluently by now, like her older brother, but i know i can not compare them and if she needs a little extra prodding, than so be it. we can do this.

the children in general take up the largest chunk of my time and energy, as they should, there are 4 of them..refereeing and defusing quarrels before they outbreak into complete pandemic, tending to dripping noses and tired eyes, absorbing the unrestrained

commentary on what i am cooking for dinner-if a vegetable is mentioned, the commentary quickly turns sour and i just want to just hold my hands up in surrender and just hand over the massive Jiff peanut butter jar and a few spoons, letting them fend for themselves. sigh. i love my kids so much, but man, mothering can be downright exhausting. i sound like i am complaining, and i did not mean for it to sound like that, i was so happy to come home to them and they were equally, if not more relieved and overjoyed to have their mum and dad back. our middle daughter must have cried heavy held together tears for a solid 3 minute straight as she clung to our arms, so emotional to have her parents back home from the other side of the world.

No, i am happy to be home, but maybe just some days, they  just get to you. I just need quiet, i need room to think. i need interaction with adults. i want to wear a lighter color without worrying about snot or boogers showing up on the shoulder. i want a minute to respond to a question and someone genuinely want to hear what i have to say without interrupting or it feeling like i only get 2.3 seconds and then i lose their interest. is it bad that i was looking forward to my youngest child's doctor appointment this morning because that means i would get to converse with nurses and the grown up doctor, even for a small period of time? who cares that ari weighs 23.4 pounds, the nurse and i had a pleasant conversation about California and the Patagonia Outlet store. Oh, he has to get 3 shots? Doc and i got to chat casually about the financial infrastructure of the wedding industry and i feel smarter for interacting with an actual real live adult. hahaha. have i lost my dang mind. who knows. 

i guess this ended up being a real juicy journal entry, when i was actually setting out to write a recipe for fresh garden salsa. 

i did actually char the veggies over the stove top, blitz them in the blender, and even quick took a few pictures all while i was preparing dinner for the family. should i still include it, or have i gone past the point of no return with this blab all blog post? well, given the freedom i feel with such a small homey audience i've got here, i think i will include the salsa post..

it is delicious, smokey, smooth, and textured-all the things you would want in a salsa. i love making it closer to the warmer months, and when the sun is out all the time, but today it peeked out and i couldn't help myself. i will probably write a more proper recipe this summer, but i'll share my fast one here. 


you'll need:

3 roma tomates 
1 large white onion, peeled and cut into large chunks 
1 jalapeno, cut in half, seeds included if you want some added heat 
1/2 cup roughly chopped cilantro
squeeze of fresh lime  
salt to taste 

in a large pan on medium to high heat, no oil, place all the veggies except the cilantro in the pan and char them up, getting all sides a little bit black. 

throw in a blender along with the cilantro and freshly squeezed lime juice  

add a bit of salt. 

blend. pour into jar and dip your chips in it. 

again, this is a fast version of the original recipe, but sometimes you need fast without skipping flavor.  i hope you like this! moms, this salsa is for you..